Meet the interns

After a vigorous screening process that went something like this…

… Hedger Corp. narrowed the candidate pool and hired three interns. They are:

Grandma Bernice, whose walker appears to be fused to her hands.

Grandma Bernice, who AFTER being hired told us she had “heard of this doohickey called a computer” but she had “never actually seen one…until now.”

She kept thinking the laptop was a giant calculator, so we issued her a desktop computer instead. The good news was that she eventually figured out how to log on. The bad news: She would only use the computer to play Space Invaders.

In addition to Grandma Bernice, we hired Techie Smurf. He knows a ton about every tech gadget, social media tool, emerging I.T. platform – you name it. Derek had been our resident tech guy, but Techie Smurf put him to shame. Derek did not take this well. Thankfully, his sobs were drowned out by Techie Smurf’s thousand-word-per-minute typing.

Along with these two interns, we hired Safari Dan. All he does all day long is pose dramatically on office furniture. I can’t believe his references didn’t mention this. Thanks a lot, references.