Returning to the Office

While the main employees were out dealing with the “Get Fit or ELSE” wellness initiative, some of the second-string employees had to manage the office. Namely, Grandma Bernice, the Building Security Officer, and Techie Smurf.

They didn’t get much done.

So when the employees finally made it back, there was A LOT to catch up on. Sue logged in to her computer and received an angry note from the e-mail system.

She started freaking out, wondering what fires she was going to have to put out. Her e-mail was taking forever to load. What was going on! It seemed like there was one HUGE e-mail that was clogging things up… blocking all the other messages from getting through. 

She cursed. Loudly. 

Ann, meanwhile, returned to find that her computer was locked in a round-the-clock videoconference with Papa Smurf. Evidently Techie Smurf had set it up, and didn’t know how to close out of it. Ann even tried turning the computer off, but that didn’t work.

She hid under her desk so Papa Smurf wouldn’t see her. Maybe then he would stop talking?

Alas, no. He just went right on reading the Smurf Daily News, page by agonizing page. He even read the advertisements.

Over in his office, Bob was getting ready to print every e-mail he had received the past few weeks. He prefered to read his e-mail in hard copy format.

His computer didn’t seem to like this idea.

The printing was going to take a while, so Bob situated himself for a quick nap.

He awoke later under an avalanche of paper.

He sat up, groggy and disoriented. Then he got the strange feeling that he wasn’t alone.

And indeed… he was not…

Bob’s heart stopped. The leprechaun!! The one who had threatened him with scissors and a gigantic toy saw during the wellness program!

But why were there two of them??! And why did it look like they were going to pick him up?? Ahhhhh!!!!!

Bob tried to cover himself with the paper and marine-crawl his way to safety. But he was moving very slowly. Luckliy, the two leprechauns were staggering along in slow motion as well.

Close by, Sue’s e-mail system finally downloaded the 100-meg file that had clogged up all her other urgent mail. It was… a picture of Ted and his dog, Mr. Bojangles?!

She could barely contain her fury.

She marched over to Ted’s office, completely unaware that Bob was only a few feet away, desperately trying to escape two slow-moving leprechauns.

When Sue got to Ted, she began laying into him. He should NOT be sending pictures of his DOG around, blah, blah, blah.

Ann interrupted the fight with a good news/bad news announcement. The good news: Her marathon videoconference with Papa Smurf was finally over. The bad news: What ended it was a full, office-wide computer crash. The network was completely down.

Ted confirmed the situation.

Techie Smurf was summoned immediately, as he was the most tech savvy of the bunch. All the employees (minus Bob) gathered to see if the network could be repaired.

Finally, Techie Smurf stood to announce the cause of the crash.

Someone had tried to download a free Chachi screensaver… a screensaver that contained a virus that infected every machine.

Unfortunately, it was at this precise moment that Chachi himself entered the office.

All the employees looked at Derek. They knew he was totally obsessed with Chachi. Who else would try to download a Chachi screensaver? Derek suddenly became intensely interested in the picture of Ted and Mr. Bojangles.

Ted, who thought it was the best picture EVER, assumed Derek felt the same way. He told Derek he could have the photo, frame and all. Derek was not happy about this. But at least it took the focus off the whole “Who downloaded a virus-ridden Chachi screensaver?” issue.

Chachi asked the employees to gather around. He wanted to make an announcement.

“What I’m about to say will change everything,” Chachi said dramatically, but with a big smile.

Next week: Chachi’s big announcement. And: Bob vs. Leprechaun, the showdown.