The Staff Tackles Facebook

Where we left off: Chachi enthusiastically started a “Let’s Do Facebook!” club, and the employees reluctantly joined. But then I pulled him away and made him help my daughter deliver Girl Scout cookies.

When Chachi returned from the cookie outing, the employees were pretty much where he left them.

Sensing they needed a shot of team spirit, Chachi began chanting “Facebook! Facebook! Facebook!” Derek half-heartedly joined in the chant and lifted his arms a bit.

Eventually, everyone made it back to their computers, mainly to shut Chachi up. They started working on their Facebook profiles once again.

Bob, who had spent the past week being chased by leprechauns, had not even started his profile. He opened Facebook, ready to dive in.

But when he tried to create his profile, he received a strange message.

This was somewhat disconcerting. It was his first time visiting Facebook. How could he have an account already?

At that moment Grandma Bernice strolled in. Bob told her about the odd message. Grandma Bernice informed him that he did indeed have a Facebook profile. She was an active Facebook user, and had seen Bob on the site.  

But there was more.

Grandma Bernice informed Bob that not only was he on Facebook, he was posting messages all day long. He was trying to sell things that he made out of gold.

In fact, Grandma Bernice had purchased one of his pieces of gold art, and had been displaying it in her front yard for months.

This was all brand new information to Bob. He’d never been on Facebook. He didn’t like gold. He didn’t like art. What was going on!?

He began to panic, and Chachi tried to comfort him.

Then Ted stepped forward with a confession.

He explained that before he joined Hedger Corp. he had tried to make it as an artist, specializing in “items made of out gold.”

He had even set up a website.

The business did not do well.

Penniless, he joined Hedger Corp. But we have a strict policy here. Employees cannot do ANYTHING that detracts from their work. No side businesses. No moonlighting. Certainly no websites that they set up just for fun. 

Still, Ted had his dream.

So he decided to keep selling the gold items, but do it under Bob’s name. The fraudulent Facebook page was a natural next step.  

The employees gathered around to see the page.

And indeed, there was Bob. On Facebook.

He was a very active user, posting several updates every hour. They all seemed to reinforce a similar theme.

Then, as Bob scrolled down his page, he saw something shocking. It was the leprechaun. He had commented on one of “Bob’s” posts. 

Suddenly it all made sense. Why the leprechauns came to the office last week. Why they were interested in Bob.

But now they were gone. Banished forever. Along with all the gold they were planning to shower on Bob.

This was upsetting. He tried to keep his emotions in check.

Ted apologized and immediately began to take Bob’s fake Facebook page down.

He decided not to mention the Twitter account.

Chachi could see that the “Let’s Do Facebook” club was losing steam. So he proposed a new idea: A company page. He would build it, and the employees would not have to do a single thing.

He was speaking their language. Cheers erupted.

Then Chachi got down to work. He called me on his cell phone so I could help him a Facebook page.

We are both happy to announce that you will find it on Facebook under Hedger Corp.

Meanwhile, Ted took a moment to gather himself. To think about his future.

Maybe he should stop making items out of gold* (*imitation gold). Maybe the world wasn’t ready for his talents.

But damn. He had a lot of inventory to work through.

Next week: Valentine time.