Sue and The Local Ice Cream Shop

As you might remember from the Mascot Selection Process, Sue is really into woodcarving.

Her work was even featured in a woodcarving trade magazine.

So when she heard about the National Woodcarving Convention, she knew she had to go. The problem was, it was quite pricey.

She wasn’t sure how she was going to get the money. Until last week, when she wandered by The Local Ice Cream Shop and saw a sign that spoke to her.

But Hedger Corp. has a policy strictly forbidding employees from taking a second job. She could be fired and lose her Hedger Corp salary and benefits, such as they are. Should she risk it?

Yes. She decided she should.

She would just keep her new job very, very secret.

She went inside and introduced herself to the boss, a young cheerful fellow named Danny. He was thrilled to meet her and asked her when she could start.

 

Faster than you can scoop a cone, Sue was an official staff member of The Local Ice Cream Shop.

The staff

Bart was in charge of Sue’s employee orientation. He explained that the shop offered three sizes of ice cream: Large, Huge and Ridiculously Enormous.

He also told her about the flavors. They followed an unusual naming convention.

Evidently, Danny had been a scientist/mathematician before he opened the ice cream shop. He thought it would be cool to create flavor names that had a science/math sound to them. No one had the heart to tell him that this was a bad idea. Such a bad idea.

The next afternoon Sue reported for her first official day. Danny had just received a huge ice cream cone that he was planning to display in front of the store, as a decoration.

Unfortunately, he lost his footing and the cone slipped down onto him.

He was stuck.

He started careening around, trying to break free.

But it was useless. The cone was there to stay.

The employees wondered what to do. Then Boone, the cowboy employee, had an idea. He brought his dog in, so the dog could eat the cone off of Danny.

This didn’t create an “ideal customer experience,” but it was the only solution the staff could think of.

Before Sue could worry about customer satisfaction, however, she saw something that nearly gave her a heart attack.

It was Bob from Hedger Corp.

He was seated in her section! If he saw her, he would realize that she had a second job and turn her in. She just knew it. After all, the Hedger Corp. Tattletale Reward was $100 plus a box of fresh and/or day-old donuts. No one could resist that!

Sue began to sweat.

She thought fast. She would need to wait on Bob, but do it in a way that would disguise her identity.

She decided to douse her face in flavor A68ZF/Yf9.

The “hiding the face” aspect worked, but Sue found it difficult to see where she was going.

Finally she made it to Bob. He was taken aback by the close and personal service. He ordered flavor X$#0000%r as fast as he could, so the scary lady would go away.

Back at the ice cream counter, Sue tried to collect herself.

But then, something even worse happened.

Techie Smurf, also from Hedger Corp, arrived with a date.

Clearly one of them was celebrating a birthday. And that meant the entire ice cream shop staff would need to gather around the table and sing Happy Birthday. Techie Smurf would surely see her and turn her in. Unless Bob saw her first.

Sue began to panic. What was she going to do!?

She began to formulate a plan.

First things first, she needed to “eliminate” the Bob problem.

While everyone was busy tending to business, she slipped back to the storage area…

… and emerged with a huge vat of caramel.

Danny was still immobilized, thank goodness.

Slowly and steadily, Sue tipped the vat of caramel over toward Bob.

Then she unceremoniously tossed him in. Head-first.

At that moment, she noticed the rest of the staff gathering around the Smurf table. It was time to sing!

Sue tried to hide herself behind someone’s Ridiculously Enormous order of flavor 8+8+8+K.

Unfortunately, it turned out the cone was for Techie Smurf. Sue was going to have to hand it over, thus revealing herself.

Techie waited for his ice cream, while Sue made a decision.

She did the only thing she could think of. She hopped up on a chair, held the ice cream high…

And dumped it right on top of Techie Smurf and his date, so they wouldn’t see her face. 

Nearby, Bob was emerging from a caramel nightmare.

Unfortunately, this was the moment that Danny finally broke free from his ice-cream-cone prison. He surveyed the scene before him.

It wasn’t Sue’s finest hour.

She was fired immediately and received no paycheck.

She did, however, receive the vat of caramel. It was useless now that it had been exposed to Bob’s body, and Danny didn’t want it anywhere near his shop.

Sue took the caramel back to the Hedger Corp office and charged the employees $50 for every 10 minutes they wanted to spend frolicking in it.  

They hung out in it for the rest of the week, and joyously ate the caramel as they frolicked. It was really disturbing.

As for Sue, she made WAY more money selling “caramel time” than she ever would have at The Local Ice Cream Shop. Woodcarving convention planners, get ready! Sue is most likely probably coming!

Next week: We hire a temp, but things don’t work out the way we intended… stay tuned!