What have we DONE this year?

When we left off, the employees were preparing for a mid-year business review. Coach Kent, our consultant, was due to arrive at any moment — and he would surely be asking about goals, objectives, accomplishments, and other intimidating things.

As you may recall, the employees were struggling to remember WHAT they had accomplished to date. And it wasn’t going well.

Meanwhile, Coach Kent was outside, preparing to lead the mid-year review workshop.

He likes to stretch and warm up before facilitating meetings.

He was feeling good. Feeling strong.

He wondered, should he attempt the back bend? It was an advanced move, of course. But he had done it once before. It would be a good way to motivate himself… get pumped up to lead the workshop.

“Do it, Kent!” he yelled to himself inside his head.

Then he eased into the back bend.

Ahh… excellent.

He remained in the back bend for a while.

In fact, he remained in the position for a troubling amount of time.

Finally, he was forced to admit that there was a problem.

Unfortunately, he had to admit this out loud to a young lady who was passing by.

“Are you OK?” she asked with alarm.

“I have become temporarily immobilized,” said Coach Kent, with as much dignity as possible.

“This guy is stuck!” the lady screamed.

Others began to gather.

Coach Kent was mortified and worried. But he knew these negative emotions were not doing him any good.

“Pull yourself together, Kent!” he yelled inside his head. “Should you have attempted the back bend? No, you idiot! You should not have. But you did, and now you need to turn this situation into something productive!”

Coach Kent cleared his throat, then made an announcement to the crowd. “Do what you feel you must do to help me,” he declared. “In the meantime, I am going to use the downtime to meditate about business strategy and goal achievement.”

He began to meditate.

Just as they were about to un-bend him, Coach Kent yelled, “Wait! I am in the middle of an epiphany!”

The crowd waited. Finally Coach Kent said, “The epiphany has ended. Please continue with the rescue.”

When he was finally standing again, he faced the crowd. “I want to thank you for your assistance,” Kent told the group. “You cannot believe the amazing idea I had while I was immobilized. I’m not going to share the idea with you for fear that you will steal it. But I assure you, it is phenomenal.”

Then he went inside.

Up in the office, the employees were trying to remember what they had done this year. What had they accomplished? Anything?

They reflected on everything that had happened in the past six months…

The highs…

The lows…

The lapses in judgement…

The personal issues…

And the fashion missteps…

The few times they had turned on their computers…

And the MANY times they had just hung around doing nothing at all…

Had it been a busy year so far? Yes. The staff had dealt with spiders, leprechauns, nutritionists, presidents, guns, duct tape, magicians, fire, lions, Richard Simmons and more.

But did these issues have ANYTHING to do with Hedger Corp’s 2011 goals?

You know the answer to that.

The staff heard Coach Kent getting off the elevator and everyone struck a pose. They made one last attempt to look productive and engaged in work.

Then something amazing happened.

The moment Coach Kent stepped into the room he yelled, “I know you have been working hard on your 2011 corporate goals and achieving great things! I can tell by the way you look right now. You are productive and motivated!”

Ted continued doing a big moonwalk circle, which did not seem to faze Coach Kent.

“We will review your goals at another time,” Kent shouted. “I have had an epiphany, and today I will tell you about something that will blow the roof off of Hedger Corp and bring you success you never dreamed possible!”

There was a dramatic pause.

“Come,” said Coach Kent. “Gather around and I will explain my idea.”

This coming Friday: The idea — and its impact on Hedger Corp.