Hidden in the Mailroom…

Hi there. Here, follow me. I need to show you something in the Hedger Corp. mailroom.

The mailroom is past the breakroom, down the hall on the left. Well keep going until we see a huge picture of beautiful hair.

Our mailroom is sponsored by L’oreal Paris Excellence Creme Pro-Keratine Triple Protection Color Creme. If you are looking for revitalized hair and superior gray coverage, there is no better option. I am contractually obligated to say that.

Ah, here comes Hot Mailroom Guy. We’ll follow him inside.

Hot Mailroom Guy dumps all the urgent mail behind that cube wall, then ignores it. All non-urgent mail is immediately burned. That pretty much sums up the policies and procedures of our mailroom.

While Hot Mailroom Guy relaxes in his lounge chair, let’s head down the hall. The mailroom area is actually quite large, with many sub-offices. Look, there’s Chachi’s Sports Den.

We’re coming up on some exotic wild animals. Don’t concern yourself with this.

Keep averting your eyes, please. We are in a highly confidential area right now.

You never saw this. Capiche?

Walk by this next cubicle fast.

FAST!!

We’re almost to that thing I want to show you. It’s just past this next cube…

Ah, here we go! THIS is what we’ve come to see.

A wondrously charming, semi-annoyingly-decorated van!

To protect your safety, I won’t explain how the company came to possess this van. All I will tell you is that we have to get rid of it as soon as humanly possible!

Oh, Jesus. Here come the folks who are guarding the van. Let’s get out of here.

To offload this incredibly dangerous item amazing van, I’ve decided to present it to The Most Productive Employee of  the Week.

The competition will be fierce.

So fierce.

Stay with us.