We Made a Hiring Mistake. Sort Of.

Here’s a recap of the story that appeared the week of 10/27/14 on the Hedger Corp Facebook Page.

The week started out with Charles from HR introducing a new employee. She seemed a bit… I don’t know… weathered? Also, her hand fell off right after she was introduced.

Problems surfaced pretty quickly. All the new employee did was stand around all day taking deep, raspy breaths. No working. No conversing. Just deep, raspy breathing. It was more than a little unsettling.

But there WAS good news. Remember how the new employee’s hand fell off? Well, that detached hand kept moving—crawling all around like a spider.

That’s not the good news.

The GOOD news was that the hand was surprisingly productive. It was typing up reports and made a mean pot of coffee.

In fact, the employees bonded pretty quickly with that severed hand.

I realized I needed to fire the new employee when she spent the entire staff meeting lying on the conference room table, just breathing those freaky breaths. Bob was trying to present about Healthy Workplaces, but you could barely hear him above all the raspy gasping for air.

It was awkward to tell the new employee to leave. It was even more awkward to tell her that we were hiring her productive hand. But the most awkward moment of all was when she had to wave goodbye… to her own hand.

Next: Ted finds something life-changing in the Hedger Corp Supply cabinet.