Ted Discovers Something Amazing

This is a recap of the story that ran on the Hedger Corp Facebook Page the week of 11/3/14.

It was Monday morning and Ted was in dire need of white-out. He set out to visit the Hedger Corp supply cabinet. But he was nervous. His past visits to the supply cabinet had been… unsettling.

Ted arrived at the supply cabinet, and thankfully nothing was amiss. He opened the cabinet, ready to retrieve some white-out. Well, think again, Ted. The Hedger Corp supply cabinet is only stocked with three things: a giant box of Corn Pops, a headshot of John Tesh, and an arm.

Ted was frustrated. He needed white-out, not a headshot of John Tesh!

But then he noticed an enclave next to the supply cabinet. He peeked around and saw the company mascot standing next to an item that was about to change everything…

Crime-scene tape. Ted found crime-scene tape in the Hedger Corp supply area, and immediately used it to cordon off his office.

You know, so he could get work done.

Later, he used the crime-scene tape to seal off part of the breakroom. The part with the pastries and coffee. Ann and Derek were S.O.L.

His crime-scene-tape spree continued the next day, when he sealed himself off in the men’s restroom so he could watch the Saved by the Bell movie.

Then Ted took everything to a new level. He wrapped himself in the tape so he would not be expected to contribute during the “Leveraging Optimization” meeting.

Later, Sue happened upon him in the hallway–still cocooned in the tape. At this point, we did not know if Ted was napping or dead.

Soon, official-looking people showed up to assess the whole “Ted-wrapped-in-crime-scene-tape-and-either-napping-or-dead” situation.

The authorities determined that Ted was alive. Then they informed him that it is a crime to use crime-scene tape when there is no crime. So lying in the hallway wrapped in crime-scene tape actually created a crime scene and now they had to deal with it.

Ted was hauled away.

Hmm… just in time to miss the afternoon’s “Core Competency Empowerment” meeting. Well played, Ted. Well played.

 Next week: Derek throws a party for Chachi, but things don’t turn out as planned…