The Disaster That Was Chachi’s Party

My assistant Chachi was in the office this week. I realized when I saw him that he’s coming up on five years with Hedger Corp. Way to go, Chachi!

I told Derek to organize a celebration. Derek idolizes Chachi, and looked a little panicked about organizing a party, so I gave him some helpful advice: “Make it perfect and DON’T screw it up.”

Derek sprinted back to his office and started Googling “party planners.”

There was only one party planner available on such short notice. She called her business “Outraged Parties,” which gave Derek pause. Did she mean “Outrageous” or “Outraged“?

Oh, whatever. What could he do? He scheduled an appointment to meet her the next day at 9 am.

The meeting took place as planned.

With extreme horror, Derek realized she was the same person who ran our “Productivity Workshop” back in February.

This did not bode well for Chachi’s party.

Things went from bad to worse pretty fast. The party planner summoned a rag tag team of “helpers” and took over the main conference room. We assumed they were planning Chachi’s party, but it was honestly hard to tell.

Derek felt a panic attack coming on.

The next day, Derek met with the party planner. He tried to ask her about Chachi’s party, but all she did was grunt. Also, she wouldn’t make eye contact. So they sat there in uncomfortable silence.

Suddenly the party planner shot up into a dramatic pose. Derek leaned against his desk and prepared for the full-blown panic attack he knew was imminent.

The plan for Chachi’s party was coming together.

In a disturbing, disturbing way.

Someone wisely called the authorities, and they showed up to talk to the party planner. They advised AGAINST setting the copier on fire and throwing furniture around. They felt it could lead to an “angry, people-getting-arrested” vibe that might undermine the festivities.

On the day of Chachi’s party, Derek wasn’t sure what to expect. But he came dressed in his high-waisted jeans, mirroring Chachi’s favorite look.

The employees waited a LONG time for the party to start. I would not say that a lot of work got done.

The problem was, there really wasn’t much left to the party plan. The authorities had crossed off the activities they deemed “too insane.”

But there was still one item left…

So where was the party planner? And where was the cake?

At last, the party planner arrived with the goods.

Just when we thought, “Hey, maybe this party planner isn’t so bad,” a man appeared. FROM INSIDE THE CAKE.

He didn’t pop out. No, he rose slowly… in a dignified way.

Then he strode away without a word.

Everyone was like, “What the hell was that??” Then Chachi checked the cake to make sure there were no other people in it.

There were no more people.

Oh, but there was one thing. AN IRATE LION.

Who bakes a MAN and a LION into a cake? Is that even a thing??

Anyway, as you can imagine, the party fell apart after the irate lion burst out of the cake.

Happy freaking anniversary, Chachi.

And party planner: You’re FIRED!