When we last left off, Chachi had a big announcement for the group. He gathered everyone in the breakroom.

Bursting with excitement, he told the crew that he had discovered a new “sharing-information-with-friends” website. It was called…

Ted and Sue exchanged glances and rolled their eyes. They didn’t have the heart to tell Chachi that Facebook was not a quaint little website he stumbled upon, but rather a global juggernaut with more than 500 million users. And an Oscar-nominated movie.

Sigh.

Chachi told the gang he wanted to start a “Let’s Do Facebook” club to “support this little site.” Derek, sensing a chance to get closer to his idol, became the first official member.

The rest of the group reluctantly agreed. None of them were on Facebook yet, and they weren’t all that eager to do it. Actually, Ted was sort of on Facebook, but not really. We’ll get to that story later.

Everyone figured that being part of Chachi’s “Let’s Do Facebook” club was better than the alternative: Doing real work.

Chachi and Derek created a sign for the new club, while the others tried to feign interest.

Meanwhile, Bob was in a fight for his life.

The two leprechauns had been pursuing him all day, but he had temporarily eluded them. He took respite near the Weird Tree that Eats Things. His plan: Lure the leprechauns over to the tree, then hope that the tree ate them.

It wasn’t the greatest plan, but he was exhausted. It was the best he could do.

In short order, however, Bob’s not-so-great plan revealed itself to be a flat-out bad plan. The tree made a move to eat him.

Back in the breakroom, the employees were working on their Facebook profiles.

Ann was struggling to select just the right profile picture. She had several pictures, but couldn’t figure out which “tone” she wanted to set. Serious? Playful? Mysterious? There were many vastly different choices.

Sue went with a picture from the 1980s, which she felt was one of her better eras.

Derek also picked a more historical shot.

Ted decided he was NOT going to build a Facebook profile for himself. Rather, he would create a Facebook Fan Page for his dog, Mr. Bojangles.

As he watched the “Let’s Do Facebook” club in action, Chachi could barely contain his joy. Facebook was about to get five new members! Maybe he would get a letter of gratitude from the CEO himself!

Elsewhere, Bob was feeling no joy.

After he escaped the tree, he stole a bath mat from a nearby restroom, then covered himself with it and marine-crawled to the nearest cube.

In a panicked whisper, he told Grandma Bernice about the leprechauns. How they appeared out of nowhere. How they were following him.

He was going to describe them, but that became unnecessary.

Bob fainted. Then Grandma Bernice invited the leprechauns into her cube.

They had created something to show Bob, but since he was out cold, they decided to show it to Grandma Bernice instead.

Grandma Bernice wasn’t sure how to interpret the piece of art. Did they want to be friends with Bob? Did they want to cut his hair? Did they want to murder him? It was unclear.

Right then and there, Grandma Bernice made a difficult and selfless decision. She knew how to get rid of the leprechauns… but it would mean a big sacrifice on her part. She told the leprechauns to wait while she fetched something for them.

She returned with a huge item.

It was a project she had been working on for 15 years. A self-help guide called “What Would a Unicorn Do?”

She had been ready to market the idea, but that dream would die if she gave her project to the leprechauns. She paused and asked herself: What would a unicorn do? Would it pose on a windy cliff? Sure. But after that, it would probably try to save its co-worker from questionable leprechauns.

Grandma Bernice gave the leprechauns her Unicorn Spin-Wheel and made them promise to never return. The readily agreed. As Grandma Bernice suspected, the leprechauns loved unicorns.

She wasn’t happy about giving up her dream. But she WAS glad to get back to her Space Invaders game.

Later, Grandma Bernice loaded Bob into her walker and deposited him in the breakroom.

The “Let’s Do Facebook” club was making good progress, but then I had to pull Chachi out of the mix. I needed him for a critical project.

He told the gang to keep working in his absence, but they decided they’d rather just stand around.

Chachi’s critical assignment: Help my daughter sell Girl Scout Cookies.

He was a big help.

Thanks, Chachi! You have earned one free Thin Mint.

Next week: The staff travels deeper into the world of social media, and Ted’s Facebook secret is revealed.

While the main employees were out dealing with the “Get Fit or ELSE” wellness initiative, some of the second-string employees had to manage the office. Namely, Grandma Bernice, the Building Security Officer, and Techie Smurf.

They didn’t get much done.

So when the employees finally made it back, there was A LOT to catch up on. Sue logged in to her computer and received an angry note from the e-mail system.

She started freaking out, wondering what fires she was going to have to put out. Her e-mail was taking forever to load. What was going on! It seemed like there was one HUGE e-mail that was clogging things up… blocking all the other messages from getting through. 

She cursed. Loudly. 

Ann, meanwhile, returned to find that her computer was locked in a round-the-clock videoconference with Papa Smurf. Evidently Techie Smurf had set it up, and didn’t know how to close out of it. Ann even tried turning the computer off, but that didn’t work.

She hid under her desk so Papa Smurf wouldn’t see her. Maybe then he would stop talking?

Alas, no. He just went right on reading the Smurf Daily News, page by agonizing page. He even read the advertisements.

Over in his office, Bob was getting ready to print every e-mail he had received the past few weeks. He prefered to read his e-mail in hard copy format.

His computer didn’t seem to like this idea.

The printing was going to take a while, so Bob situated himself for a quick nap.

He awoke later under an avalanche of paper.

He sat up, groggy and disoriented. Then he got the strange feeling that he wasn’t alone.

And indeed… he was not…

Bob’s heart stopped. The leprechaun!! The one who had threatened him with scissors and a gigantic toy saw during the wellness program!

But why were there two of them??! And why did it look like they were going to pick him up?? Ahhhhh!!!!!

Bob tried to cover himself with the paper and marine-crawl his way to safety. But he was moving very slowly. Luckliy, the two leprechauns were staggering along in slow motion as well.

Close by, Sue’s e-mail system finally downloaded the 100-meg file that had clogged up all her other urgent mail. It was… a picture of Ted and his dog, Mr. Bojangles?!

She could barely contain her fury.

She marched over to Ted’s office, completely unaware that Bob was only a few feet away, desperately trying to escape two slow-moving leprechauns.

When Sue got to Ted, she began laying into him. He should NOT be sending pictures of his DOG around, blah, blah, blah.

Ann interrupted the fight with a good news/bad news announcement. The good news: Her marathon videoconference with Papa Smurf was finally over. The bad news: What ended it was a full, office-wide computer crash. The network was completely down.

Ted confirmed the situation.

Techie Smurf was summoned immediately, as he was the most tech savvy of the bunch. All the employees (minus Bob) gathered to see if the network could be repaired.

Finally, Techie Smurf stood to announce the cause of the crash.

Someone had tried to download a free Chachi screensaver… a screensaver that contained a virus that infected every machine.

Unfortunately, it was at this precise moment that Chachi himself entered the office.

All the employees looked at Derek. They knew he was totally obsessed with Chachi. Who else would try to download a Chachi screensaver? Derek suddenly became intensely interested in the picture of Ted and Mr. Bojangles.

Ted, who thought it was the best picture EVER, assumed Derek felt the same way. He told Derek he could have the photo, frame and all. Derek was not happy about this. But at least it took the focus off the whole “Who downloaded a virus-ridden Chachi screensaver?” issue.

Chachi asked the employees to gather around. He wanted to make an announcement.

“What I’m about to say will change everything,” Chachi said dramatically, but with a big smile.

Next week: Chachi’s big announcement. And: Bob vs. Leprechaun, the showdown.

The Get Fit or ELSE campaign continued this week, with Vince (exercise guru) trying to whip the employees into shape.  

On Tuesday morning Vince summoned everyone to the gym for a yoga demonstration. The poses he showcased were quite advanced. At one point he balanced himself on his head for two hours, while humming the theme song to Rocky.

He stretched in ways that looked… not normal.  

But it was his final move that stunned everyone. He called it “mid-section separation,” and noted that it was only achievable if you reached the highest possible level of yoga superconsciousness. 

It was a disturbing move. So very disturbing. 

The employees opted not to try “mid-section separation” and instead chose “downward-facing dog.” Bob just tried to touch his toes. He wasn’t even close.

And that’s when the employees found out why the strange leprechaun assistant was there. As Vince explained to Bob, anyone who was too weak would need to go to the snack bar and have a “time out” with the leprechaun. At first Bob welcomed this news, as it would give him a much-needed break, as well as a much needed snack.

But then he started to notice things about the leprechaun. For instance, the leprechaun had NO respect for personal space.  

He would do weird things. Like set out two pairs of scissors, with the pointy ends facing Bob’s chair.   

He later unveiled a huge, demented-looking saw.

And what was with all the staring? The leprechaun would stare intently at Bob and not move at all. He wouldn’t even blink. Just stare…

Bob vowed to redouble his efforts in the gym.

By the time he joined the crew again, Vince had taken them outside for a “running in sand” exercise. 

Then it was time for some climbing challenges.

Everyone was exhausted after this, so Vince let them back into the gym. But he only allowed them to rest in “plank position.” This position was not restful at all, though it did help strengthen their ab muscles.

Back outside, Vince announced the next work out: Stairs. The employees had to climb up and down 45 times. It would not be easy.

Ted, Ann, Sue and Derek managed to finish the stairs early by NOT doing 45 loops, but rather just one loop. They snuck back to the gym to see what Vince was up to — and determine if they could somehow escape.

Lo and behold, they saw the nutritionist! She had been playing Space Invaders with Grandma Bernice, but then the computer froze. Our computers are from 1996, so it takes them a while to reboot. The nutritionist figured she had a good 90 minutes, and decided to track down the employees.

She entered the gym and was surprised to see Vince hanging a poster of Richard Simmons.  

Vince explained that Richard was his idol.

It was Vince’s life-long dream to co-produce an exercise video with Richard… perhaps an updated version of “Disco Sweat.”

Alas, Vince had never met Richard, nor did he know how to contact him. Still, he held onto his dream.

The very mention of Richard Simmons’ name caused a wave of memories to wash over the nutritionist.  

Not only did she know Richard, she had co-written a moderately successful book with him in the 1980s.

Then she remembered something important: Richard still owed her $40. She told Vince of the book, and the money owed — and they vowed to track Richard down. First they would demand the $40. If needed, they would pin him to the ground and wrestle it out of his wallet. Then they would sit down with him and pitch the idea of “Disco  Sweat 2.”

It was a solid plan. They shook on it.

And with that, they were off.

The employees, relieved but very sore, hobbled back to the office to gather their things and go home. 

Meanwhile, Bob was still doing the stairs, unaware that the Get Fit or ELSE initiative had all but imploded. He was on loop number 5, with 40 to go.  

Next week: Back to the office! While the employees settle in to normal work, Bob becomes haunted by something he never thought he’d see.

 The Wellness Initiative was in full force again this week. The nutritionist was as intense as ever, and started bringing in enormous vegetables from her garden.

The employees had never encountered such large food. Their natural instinct was to play with it.

…until the nutritionist caught them. Unfortunately, Bob was wedged in there pretty tight. He ended up having to eat his way out.

The rule with the pepper was that it had to be consumed before any other food could be brought into the office. Vitamin C levels soared, but morale suffered a bit.

Still, the bell pepper was way better than the  jalapeño that was brought in earlier in the week.

Once the bell pepper was gone, the staff was allowed to bring in organic food–but only organic! Sue was somehow able to download and print “USDA Organic” stickers, and she secretly handed them out. The employees were excited. Now they could just slap the stickers on everything they wanted to eat.

Alas, Derek played with fire and attracted suspicion.

No one was very excited by the nutritionist’s next idea for a “group eating challenge”: A banana from her extra-large banana tree.

Then suddenly, she dropped the banana. She appeared to be listening intently to… the faint sound of music?

Yes. It was the “music” of Space Invaders, a siren song from the nutritionist’s past. In her youth, she had demonstrated exceptional natural skills for Space Invaders, and had racked up the highest score in national competition. But her love turned to addiction, and the game that made her eventually almost destroyed her.  

Our intern Grandma Bernice just played for fun. 

The nutritionist would not leave Grandma Bernice’s cube. She shouted commands, cursed, cheered and ordered Grandma Bernice to make complicated, but strategically brilliant moves. It was clear she wasn’t going anywhere for a long time.  

The employees could hardly believe their luck. The next morning Bob brought in donuts for everyone. He was in a great mood… until he noticed all the exercise pictures posted on the walls.

The employees had a bad feeling about this. And their fears were realized when a workout guru burst into the room.

His name was Vince. He liked fitness, and he liked self tanning.

Vince immediately ordered everyone to give him 50 push-ups. Bob collapsed halfway through the first one, and Derek tried to stay hidden behind the water cooler.

Then Vince took out a strange contraption and told employees it was time to test their overall health. Ann went first.

She didn’t score too high. Her health was equal to that of a mound of pudding.

Ted didn’t rate very high either.

The computer delivered an unusual and ominous message for Bob.   

Once everyone’s extreme lack of health was confirmed, Vince took the employees across the street to a building they had seen, but never visited.

It was a gym.

Vince introduced his assistant, a tall, strange young man dressed like a fancy leprechaun.

It seemed an odd choice for an exercise assistant, but no one said anything. Instead, the employees began to worry. Really worry. What was going to happen here? It seemed like the answer was “nothing good.”

Suddenly the nutritionist and her oversized jalapeño weren’t looking so bad.

Next week: Let’s get physical!

Fresh off the goal-setting workshop, Sue came in Monday morning to post Hedger Corp’s 2011 goals.

But as she was attaching the goals to the wall, she noticed a new banner hanging nearby…

She studied the banner for a while, trying to figure out how much she should worry. Then she heard someone clear their throat. She spun around to find…

a lunch lady?  

What is going on here, thought Sue.

She summoned the other employees to the breakroom, and they were equally perplexed.

After standing perfectly still for 30 minutes, the lunch lady suddenly gathered everyone around and began shouting that she was not, in fact, a lunch lady. She was a nutritionist! Specializing in raw, organic matter! She was here as part of the new “Get Fit or ELSE” campaign! Her role: to force everyone to eat healthy in 2011!

Then she asked the employees what they had eaten for breakfast that day. Derek thought about his triple-king-size Snickers.

But that was at least better than Bob, who had just eaten a bucket of trans fat.

When no one answered her breakfast question, the nutritionist passed out multi-vitamins that she had personally manufactured. They were large. Alarmingly large. It was going to take a lot of water to get those puppies down.

After that, she launched into some nutrition goals for 2011. The U.S. food pyramid suggests around three servings of vegetables per day. The nutritionist was a tad more ambitious, and ordered the employees to eat 290 servings of vegetables per day.

This news did go over well.

Soon after this mayhem, lunch was served. And that’s when the employees realized that the nutritionist doesn’t believe in cooking anything. She advocates for raw food ONLY, including pasta. Lunch was a cornucopia of nuts, spaghetti (raw), an enormous pear, and some turnips.

Chachi stopped by with a broccoli floret, but that didn’t do much to rally the troops. The only person who was excited was Derek, because he got to enjoy some quasi-quality time with his idol.

As the week wore on, employees tried to find ways to cope with the new “Get Fit or ELSE” initiative.

Bob found a donut website and secretly stared at pictures for hours on end.

He was unaware that, down the hall, Ann had a huge stash of donuts under her desk. The employees (minus bob) took turns enjoying the donuts and coffee, and guarding the cube from the nutritionist, who was patrolling the office.

Slowly, the days passed. All food was banished from the office, except for the food the nutritionist brought in. Everyone kept expecting her to just disappear, like so many of their other problems. But no. She remained.

And by the look of today’s lunch, things aren’t getting better anytime soon.

Next week: Wellness Part II – an exercise expert visits the office.

I realized recently that a new year is about to begin. (What the heck?)

We needed some goals, STAT.

I hired Coach Kent to lead a 120-hour goal-setting workshop, starting on Sunday the 26th. He was still a little shaken from the whole team-building debacle earlier this year, but he decided to give our group another try.

We held the workshop at Coach Kent’s office. He woke up early on Sunday to get ready, but then fell back asleep while his coffee was brewing.

When he finally woke up again, he realized he was going to need a lot of caffeine to get through all 120 hours. Coach Kent needs two pots of coffee every morning to even function, let alone energize and motivate a group.

While he waited for my team, he downed three pots.

Eventually he started feeling more alive, and put up his favorite inspirational signs.

Then he drank another two pots of coffee. By the time my staff arrived, he was in full “Coach Kent” mode.

Coach Kent did some impressive lunges and shouted “goals!” a few times. Then he had to run to the bathroom.

When he returned, he was surprised to see a huge bull standing in his conference room, chewing on cud. The employees explained that this was our mascot, and they brought him to inspire the goal-setting.

Coach Kent and the bull sized each other up. Neither liked what they saw.

The bull was banished to the balcony. Then Coach Kent started shouting about “core competencies,” “paradigm shifts,” and other critical issues.

Ann’s mind drifted. She envied the mascot, out on the balcony, enjoying the fresh air, socializing with the birds. Was there some way to join him? she wondered. And was it her imagination, or was the mascot smirking at her?

Meanwhile, Coach Kent could feel his caffeine high waning. He ordered the employees to perform a “Gap Analysis,” and report back to him. As they began discussing things, he darted over to the coffeemaker and downed another few cups. For good measure, he added a bottle of Red Bull.

The employees completely misunderstood the “Gap Analysis” assignment. Instead of analyzing gaps in Hedger Corp.’s operations, they started analyzing GAP, the retail clothing store. But none of them shop there, so they decided to analyze other stores instead.

Ann spoke passionately about Chico’s. Then Bob revealed his deep love for Chess King, a men’s store that specialized in bold-patterned dress shirts. The store peaked in the mid-1980’s but later fell into bankruptcy and closed. Bob grew very emotional as he recalled the closure.

Ann presented the group’s “Gap Analysis” summary, but by then Coach Kent had worked himself into a caffeinated frenzy. He couldn’t stop stretching, jogging around and yelling “optimize!”

Unfortunately, the Chico’s/Chess King discussion was the most productive point of the entire 120-hour meeting.

The rest of the time was spent eating…

sleeping…

Watching DVD box-sets that Coach Kent had in his office…

sticking signs on Bob’s back…

and watching Derek perform the moonwalk. He was shockingly good at it.

When the workshop was one hour from ending, the employees suddenly realized they had not set ANY goals. None! The only thing they had to show for this week-long meeting was knowledge of the Chess King bankruptcy and a newfound appreciation for the Love Boat and Fantasy Island.

Unfortunately, Coach Kent had run out of caffeinated beverages around the 1115-hour mark, and had become unresponsive.

Everyone began to panic.

Ted drew the short stick and had to approach a nearly catatonic Coach Kent to beg for help.

All Coach Kent could do was whisper some random words. Desperate for any leads, the employees printed out the words and shuffled them up. The tossed them around the room, hoping for inspiration to strike.

And strike it did! The team decided that 2011 would be focused on two main goals:

They all agreed that “optimizing innovative leverage” would most likely help Hedger Corp. succeed in 2011.

The moonwalk goal wasn’t as pertinent to the business, but would help improve employee satisfaction.

With that, the 120 hours were up. The employees retrieved the mascot and packed up their things.

Mercifully, Coach Kent collapsed before seeing the “results” his 120-hour goal-setting workshop produced.

Next week: Employees return to the office, ready to leverage and moonwalk. Instead, they find a new mandatory Wellness Program waiting for them…

The week started out normal enough.

We have this strange plant in our office. So I moved it into the breakroom, lightly decorated it, and called it our Christmas tree.

The employees did not like this at all.

They complained that it “got in the way.”

They even complained that it was growling at them. I was highly skeptical… until I saw the plant attempt to eat a chair.

Fine. We’ll move it to a lower-traffic area.

I didn’t want to go out and buy a tree, yet the breakroom needed something… And we couldn’t help but notice that Sue had brought in a lovely, tastefully decorated tree.

Sue adored her tree, and spent hours making minute adjustments to the tinsel.

Then she spent hours admiring her work.

We agreed with Sue: It was a great tree. Which is why we decided to move it into the breakroom when she was in the bathroom.

To soften the blow, I told Hot Mailroom Guy to dig something nice out of our storage room and bring it to Sue. You know, a little gift to say “Sorry for stealing your Christmas tree while you were in the restroom.”

He found a huge button that had writing on it, and thought that would be good enough.

I’m pretty sure the gift didn’t help.

While all this was going on, something unexpected was happening outside of the office.

My friend Shannon sent me a surprise package that arrived on Wednesday. It was…

Chachi.

Yes: Chachi. From Happy Days.

“He would be a great addition to the Hedger Corp. team,” Shannon told me when I called her.

But I had other plans in mind. I needed a personal assistant, and I could tell Chachi had promise. Indeed, that day he helped me in a number of ways – without me even asking.

He found my daughter’s missing shoe .

He helped me cut up a banana for a snack.

And the next morning he even tried to retrieve the newspaper from the front porch.

But that didn’t go very well.

Still, no matter what he was doing, he always had a smile and a willing attitude. I offered him the personal assistant job, and he accepted.

Then I introduced him to the employees, and I have to say they were  shocked. Usually celebrities are smaller than they look on screen, but in this case it was the opposite.

They couldn’t believe Chachi was actually standing in front of them. They also couldn’t believe how much denim he was wearing.

They brought over a chair for him. It was a tad small, but what are you going to do?

No one quite knew what to say to Chachi.

Safari Dan thought he could crack everyone up by asking “How’s Mrs. C?” or “Where’s Fonzie?” But he couldn’t muster the nerve to get the words out.

Finally, Chachi broke the ice by inviting all the employees to his apartment next week for some eggnog. They were all shell-shocked, but a few of them nodded, so Chachi took that as a yes. Then they all just stood there doing nothing for a long time. That’s normal, though.

A little later, after everyone dispersed, Derek approached Chachi and confessed that he was a huge fan of the “Joanie Loves Chachi” TV show, and he was crushed when it was canceled after just two abbreviated seasons.

Derek wanted to know why the ratings plummeted in season two. He wanted to know why NBC made that fateful decision to move the show to Thursdays.

Most of all, he wanted to know why Chachi’s pants were so incredibly high. “Is this a new trend?” Derek wondered. “But what happened to skinny jeans?” Derek had recently purchased a bunch of skinny jeans, thinking he would be “the stylish guy” in the office. Now he began to worry.

This morning, the office was all abuzz about Chachi’s eggnog get-together.

Sue thought she might wear her gray suit. Derek was thinking of wearing his black shirt, and maybe some ultra-high-waisted pants.

Chachi hung out in the office for most of the morning, but then I needed him to find another shoe and practice bringing the newspaper in.

Stay tuned for the eggnog party report next Friday…

Earlier this week I decided that Hedger Corp. needed a mascot. Some sort of animal or object that would represent us; tell the world what we’re about. Maybe even bring us some luck or (going out on a limb here) motivate the employees.

I gathered the staff in the breakroom and told them they each needed to present one mascot idea. Everyone began thinking while our intern, Grandma Bernice, continued with her morning nap.

The next day, Derek brought in a statue of Neytiri from Avatar.

She is graceful, brave and epic. In other words, nothing like Hedger Corp. Nice try, Derek. Now take this statue back to your living room.

Bob presented a statue that was somewhat less graceful and epic.

He said it was “Toodee” from the TV show Yo Gabba Gabba, but no one here watches Yo Gabba Gabba (since, you know, we’re not four years old). Bob tried to claim that Toodee represented fun and mirth. Derek said she looked needy and weird, and predicted he would have several nightmares about her. The bickering continued, until Hot Mailroom Guy arrived to take Toodee away. Thank you, Hot Mailroom Guy. You’ll be getting a nice year-end bonus.

The next day, it was Ted’s turn to present a mascot. He suggested his dog, Mr. Bojangles.

Mr. Bojangles is accustomed to plush carpets, fluffy blankets and expensive doggy beds. Unfortunately, our cheap institutional carpet frightened him. He ran around, disoriented and yipping wildly, then emptied his bladder on Bob’s left shoe.

It was the highlight of Ted’s week.

Ann’s contribution was a pony named “Mystic Sparkle Magic.” She offered no explanation as to where the pony came from, why it was mint green, or how it maintained such dramatic windswept hair even though there was no wind.

The pony was quite dramatic, and very caught up in her own mysticness. She danced about, posing and tossing her mane to and fro. Somehow, during all the prancing, Derek got caught up in her tail.

Sue stayed up for three days straight working on her idea: a Moose carved out of wood. Her hands were blistered, her back was sore, but she was proud of her work. As the others “oohed” and “ahhed,” Ted felt a chill run through him. Had the moose just looked at him then quickly looked away? He couldn’t tell…

It was at this point that Grandma Bernice suddenly appeared.

Evidently she had heard us discussing mascots that day when she was napping. Trailing behind her was…

…an enormous bull.

He would not budge.

He was there during meetings…

During lunch…

And during Sue’s important presentation to business partners.

Eventually, everybody just got used to him.

He was unproductive, unnecessary and just plain odd.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have found our mascot.

Thank you, Grandma Bernice!

When the employees arrived at work, they found job titles glued to their cube walls.

This disturbed Bob, who had always thought he was a Systems Analyst Manager. When did “Regional” get added in? And what “region” was he in charge of?

Derek and Ann had NO idea what their job titles meant.

And to think, Sue was hired just as a “Deputy.” She’s come a long way since then.

Ted found his title disconcerting.